One Saturday, I was invited to and attended a New Moon gathering of Spiritual seekers. The latter part of the meeting involved a discussion of relationships that evoked some thoughts I feel are well worth considering here.

Let me begin with a metaphysical premise -- that the Universe is always seeking harmony. That concept, at face value, for us as devotees of metaphysical spirituality, would seem pretty understandable and easy to accept. We know that everything is energy, and that, metaphysically speaking, like attracts like, and that the Universe has a natural tendency to organize itself accordingly. But when we consider the word "harmony" we may find that idea of seeking harmony comes with an unexpected twist that not a lot of people think about. Now let me explain why the discussion of relationships brought this to mind.

Most of us have heard, and likely observed many times that people very often choose the same sorts of partners again and again, even though the relationships are far from healthy. In other words, dysfunctional people end up in relationships with each other all the time. When we observe the chaos and drama that is so often characteristic of these relationships, they may seem to be anything but harmonious. The word peaceful would not characterize such relationships. But consider that from the standpoint of the Universe, there actually is Harmony, in that perfect matching has taken place. [Let's refer to the Harmony from this higher perspective with a capital "H", and that within the level of worldly experience with a small "h".]

An example of disharmony would be a very dysfunctional person getting together with a very peaceful, "together" person. This sort of match is so disharmonious in fact, that one rarely ever sees it. There is no energy-matching going on there. The together person would not be inclined to bring into his life all of the chaos that would come with a very dysfunctional personality. And the dysfunctional one would not likely find a peaceful conscious partner willing to play all of the ego driven chaotic drama games he/she craves.

Sometimes in relationships, it may begin with the matching of two chaotic partners; but as time goes on, one of the partners may awaken and begin seeking greater Spiritual awareness, while the other remains stuck in the old ways. There is a very high likelihood that eventually such a relationship will break-up. And when they do, the break-ups can be pretty messy as the partner remaining in the ego-fixated state creates a whole lot of drama. Yet, if the aware partner maintains a state of peace and calm, the negative effect will be minimized for him.

Now in relationships where both of the partners are on a path of expanding consciousness, there is far more peace, ease and authentic love at the outset. The ease part reminds me of something that one of the leaders of the group was making in the discussion at the gathering. He was elucidating five points to keep in mind when in a relationship, both from the female perspective and the male perspective. He was explaining that we must figure out which of these points is most applicable to our partner, and then modify our behavior in accordance with that if we are to maintain mutual respect and harmony within the relationship. As he was explaining this, I was thinking how strenuous it is when we operate from the mode of worldly conventions compared to how it is when we operate from a a higher level of consciousness.

What I mean by that is that as we progress in consciousness we begin to work more at the level of spirit. Conversely, in lower states of consciousness (where awareness is more limited), we tend to operate according to the ways of the world, applying conventional wisdom, relying on analysis and strategic reasoning. It occurred to me that such analysis as was being described may indeed be a very good and useful approach at particular levels of consciousness where the partners are still fixed in ego identity (which at this point in the evolution of consciousness includes most of the population of earth).

As is stated in A Course In Miracles, all analysis is of the ego. As we progress in our level of consciousness, we increasingly disengage from ego fixation. In fact that could be a definition of expanding consciousness - disengagement from ego fixation. So in relationships where both of the partners are on a course of increasing Spiritual awareness, there is more intuitive resonance -- and therefore little need for such an analytical approach. Each of the partners will intuitively meet each others needs. Operating at the level of spirit negates the need to manipulate the small things. Also each of the partners will be more accepting of and less reactive to each other's personal foibles. In other words, with disengagement from ego, the need for resistance and reaction to the small things of life are let go. The result is more harmony, peace and ease within these relationships.